Another Chance
by babyluw
Summary: Grimmjow tries to regain his memories after dying, for the second time. But the memories that returns aren't the ones he expected. What was he before he died that first time? And how much does experiences matter to who you become? Canon/AU! Flashbacks FTW
1. Chapter 1

.

Another Chance

.

_The good thing about not remembering anything is that you have noting holding you back._  
_The bad thing about not remembering anything is that you have noting to fight against._

_.  
_

The first thing that I can remember was three weeks ago. Itchy grass smothered behind me and a way too bright sky in front of me. Filled with those kinds of fluffy white clouds. Since I had nowhere to go, and nothing to do I just laid there. The bright blue became navy and the white clouds became a weird version of gray. Stars started to twinkle but I wasn't tired, but I could feel that I would have to go and search for food in at least a day or things could go... bad, I guess?

When the sun started to rise again, turning the sky nearly white for all of those of you who're wondering, I could hear voices. Screaming, yelling and coming closer.

"We found him! He's here!"

Since I knew that no one else was around, I turned my head to look at the men that 're intruding on what I've declared as my lawn. How they ran closer, and how they stopped, just ten meters away from me. They were all dressed in black.

"No way, this isn't right. Isn't that-"

"Call on captain reforges right now! Say that it's an emergency of the first degree! An _Espada_ has broken into Soul Society!"

One dude disappears at an amazing speed. Another stepped up to me and pointed a crooked finger at my face. "You stay right where you are!"

"I wasn't planning to move from the start." I growled, not liking how those bastards thought that they could tell me what to do.

"Don't get cocky on us! We might not be seated but that doesn't mean we're weak!" _Heh. You make it sound like it does._

"I had no plans on fightin' ya."

"Wh-"

"Shut up, would ya? You're destroying my morning nap." The dude looked ablaze, looked like he wanted to kill me five times over, looked like he was to much of a coward to really do it though. I had no idea of who those guys in black coats were, but for some reason they didn't seem to like me very much.

Maybe it was their turd?

Whatever. I just pretended to sleep and hoped that they would go away again.

"Y-you!" But no such luck. "I-I don't know what kind of stunt you're trying to pull but you wont fool us! We know who you are, Grimmjow Jaggerjaques!"

I frowned, opening one eye to glare at the dude who was still pointing his crooked finger at me. "Then you know more than I do."

Before he managed to yell something more another dude sort of teleported himself next to the first dude and gently laid his hand over the hand that owned the crooked finger.

"Calm down, as you all should know. When a lost soul, no matter what it has done previously while being dead, enters Soul Society, he or she looses those memories." Woa- wait a minute.

"I'm dead?"

"Yes, I'm afraid you are Mr. Jaggerjaques."

"Who killed me?" For some reason I wanna get back at the dude, and I have a hard time believing that I passed away in some peaceful way. Considering that all these guys knows who I am I probably did something mayor in my previous life.

And then I remembered what the guy in white said.

"Wait, what was I before I became dead?"

"I'm afraid you were dead then too." The dude with manners said in a tone that I think will always feel weird to my ears.

"Okay." Another thing about not having a memory is that _everything_ is new, and for some reason you'll care as much about_ being dead_ as you will about your blue hair – which I learned about some hours later.

"Would you like to come with us? You're hungry, right?" He stretched out and open hand for me to grab, but I ignored it and stood up on my own.

"Whatever."

* * *

The men in black, the shinigami – which I learned later that they were – were kind enough to assign me to a room. And once a day I'm supposed to show my face at this small dude's place. He'll check how I'm doing, ask some questions, then I can ask some in return and if I don't ask some he will tell me stuff that he think that I should know.

The thirteen squads. Captains. Vice Captains. Academy, which I would be asked to enter within a few months, or weeks, he don't know. Center 46. The lack of Center 46. And so on. And so on.

I swear, I'm practically a lexicon by now. So much information have he stuffed into my head, only to see if I would remember something of my previous dead period- _which he refuse to tell me about_.

No, I don't remember anything. So stop bugging me about it.

Well, there's one thing though. Lately, my dreams, who've so far only been about the food I've eaten under the day or something like that, has also had moments that's just swirls of color. Black, blue, white, orange, and beige. Last night I figured out that the beige was sand.

I haven't told this to my shrink yet though, cause he will freak out and go all energetic, and I don't really feel like pleasing him and showing that I'm making progress.

Which results in that we sit in this small room close to the center of the fourth division barracks, me asking him who killed me and he telling me about who were captains before the previous captains.

When the resigned time is out I just leave again.

* * *

I walk down the streets of Seritei, but everywhere I go people are glaring at me. In the beginning I didn't care, it was better than not being acknowledged at all. But after a couple of hours it started to get annoying, and after a week it made me throughout pissed off.

But me yelling at people only resulted in two captains showing up, along with a bunch of plain dudes who already had their swords raised. So now I'm not staying out in public more than I need to.

I did some serious damage in my previous dead period. That's the only reason I can see for why they all hate me. Or maybe I knew something, like the combination to some safe or something, and now when my memories are gone they can't get the money, or whatever.

I head towards the eleventh division barracks. At least there they wont call on reforges if I raise my voice. And then it just happens to be so that that was where they placed me. My assigned room, until I get thrown into the academy. Then they don't know where they'll place me.

The room is small, mostly occupied by the bed I've pushed into one corner. A scrub of a bathroom and an even smaller kitchen. There's a desk and a whiteboard with a schedule and my notes about myself.

Name: Grimmjow Jaggerjaques  
Hair/eye color: Blue.  
Occupation: Dead, for the second time.  
Past: Unknown.

* * *

.

A/N: I want to apologize right away, I will be slow with updates on this as long as I'm still writing on My Soul Pleads For You. I just wanted to post something else, and see what you guys thought and if it's worth continuing at all. This would be my first story that focused on GrimmIchi.

Please review? :)


	2. Chapter 2

.

Life and Death

.

Renji, the tattooed one. Renji, the redhead. Renji, the jack ass. Renji, who's been in a relationship with Shuuhei for as long as I can remember. Renji, the love of my life.

That Renji, that obliviously smiling idiot of a so called friend has just entered my room without permission through the window. I'm just about to start yelling at him when he raises his hand to stop me.

"Guess who just died and went to Soul Society?" he says while smiling widely.

Wow, it's been a while since he's been this thrilled over something. So I drag the seconds out, pretending to be really thinking over the matter, just to annoy him.

"Tom Jones?"

"Who? Fuck no." The buzz on his face is really lovely.

"Gene Simmons?"

"Wha-"

"Britney Spears? Dave Grohl? Kubo Tite?"

"Shut up. You're obviously not gonna get it!" I close my mouth, and he beams, his eyes glowing like the gold in Indiana Jones movies. I should have guessed on Harrison Ford.

"Grimmjow Jaggerjaques."

I can feel my mouth opening, but no sound comes out. Is he serious? Another couple of seconds pass before I can muster a "For real?"

"Yeah, I thought you might wanna see so I came here to get you." he smiles, and picks my substitute badge up from my desk. "Lets get moving."

"Why in such a hurry? It's not like he wont stay dead for a while, right?" I laugh. And should we really talk about him as if he were some circus animal?

"Come on! This is the most exciting thing that have happened in a year!"

"Okay, okay, I'm going!" I grin, and pick up a hood and head down the stairs. Renji takes the window exit again and I meet him outside once I've said goodbye to my sisters.

We jog to Urahara's, the shop keeper himself looking as suspicious as always.

"Leaving so soon Abarai-san? You just got here!" It's hilarious really, to see Renji around Urahara. He gets so worked up over nothing, and his shoulders get all tense and he becomes vary of what he says.

"Yeah, was just gonna get Kurosaki."

"Oh? Going to see Grimmy-chan?" He turns to look at me, and I can't help but smile. It's only because we both know he owes me, otherwise I would probably be as on the edge as Renji.

"So it's true, he really landed in Soul Society?"

"Very much so indeed. To bad he doesn't remember anything, but what can you expect?" Urahara sighs, and I play the words three times over before I manage to react to them.

"Wait, what?" Grimmjow, without his memories?

"When hollows get cleaned, all those memories disappear. For higher ranks especially, Grimmjow-kun used to be a fusion of at least a couple of thousand souls, the one you're going to meet will only be the one which the Espada you fought based his appearance on. Don't expect him to be the same." I get an image of a housewife into my head, and it's really hard to contain my laughter.

Urahara raises an eyebrow and I apologize. "I'm sorry, it's nothing to laugh at."

"But it is quite funny." We follow him down the long staircase, as he makes the gate ready for us. "But I'd want you to be nice to him Kurosaki, he's having a rough time because of his looks." I dump my body against one of the cliffs, and nod towards the shop keeper.

I can't believe he just asked me to be friends with Grimmjow.

"Don't see him as a enemy, this is his chance to have a decent... death, I presume."

"I'll try." I smile as I follow Renji through the gate.

.

"He doesn't remember anyone? For real?" I ask Renji again as soon as we enters the eleventh division barracks.

"Yes. For real. He didn't even know his own name."

We round another corner and head up some stairs. This is apparently were the lower ranks of the division lives. Furthest down one hall Renji stops in front of a door, and it's first now that I come to think of that this is pretty rude.

"Is he really okay with us just storming in like this?"

"It's not like he have much else going on." Renji hums and I can hear some footsteps on the other side of the door before it opens.

And there he is. Grimmjow fucking Jaggerjaques, the one and only. He stares at me, then glances up at Renji for a quick second before his clear blue eyes moves back to me again. He doesn't have his mask, and his hair isn't as styled as I remember it but, it's him. He looks exactly the same.

Renji coughs next to me, but Grimmjow doesn't take his eyes of me. "Hi Grimmjow, sorry to interrupt but there's someone who wanted to meet you." Yeah, that's it bastard, make it sound like it was my idea to come here. "This is-"

"Ichigo." We both freeze as he speaks. It was quite some time since we fought, since the last time I saw him, but his voice, it feels like I heard it yesterday. "Kurosaki Ichigo." But- he wasn't supposed to remember anything? Was someone here and told him about me? "You're the one who killed me."

Wow, great first second impression.

.

I pick my body up from the sandy floor and slip into it again. Having said goodbye to both Renji and Grimmjow before I stepped through the gate to the real world.

The whole time I had spent at Grimmjow's place had been surreal. Stiff, but at the same time not. We had tried to talk, it seemed like he wanted to keep talking with me, but it was hard, since he knew nothing about himself.

And as soon as I had tried to tell him, Renji had interrupted and said that I shouldn't. That it would be much better if he gained those memories back on his own.

Heading up the stairs I yell my goodbye and thanks to Urahara before I start to lightly jog back home.

It was so weird. And when I claimed that I had to leave, the way he looked at me, and then asked if I would come back. Like he wanted to see me again.

I run over the street, in the middle of it realizing that I didn't watch out for cars as I hear a loud horn screaming.

But then again, I'm the only person so far that he remembers, of course he would want to see me again.

There's a hard surface crashing into my right side, moving me from the surface of the earth. And I realize that I've been hit by a truck.

Beeing thrown to the ground I don't even try to move. I know that I should, but all I can do is lay there and wait for the shock to turn into pain.

Even if I hated a person, if he was the only one in the whole world I knew, I would probably try to meet him again.

It feels like forever passes but the pain doesn't come. I can hear people screaming and running in the distance, but as my vision fades, so does the sound.

.


	3. Chapter 3

.

Remembering a Life

.

I wake up to a loud bang, probably one of my neighbors slamming their door up with a bit too much force. I glance at the clock, and then at the tea mugs that are still on the table from yesterday when Kurosaki and Abarai were here.

Kurosaki Ichigo...

I didn't really think that I would meet the guy who killed me so soon. And I really didn't think that he would come knocking at my door, asking to meet me. What the fuck was up with that?

He was dressed as a Shinigami, which means he probably is one. But I've been here for almost a month, so why didn't he show up until now if he knew me?

And as far as I've been told, the Shinigami's are on the "good side", sort of. At least that was what I took from the "saving souls" talk I had with my shrink.

But if he's on the good side, and he killed me, that puts me on the "bad side". Or at least it should. Which would explain why everybody's acting like they either want to run away or cut me up.

So I was the enemy, got killed by Kurosaki and ended up being "reborn" into this place. My massive amount of spirit energy made them find me, and my loss of memory saved me from being killed once again. Sweet.

So now they're taking care of me, winning me over to their side at the same time as they're trying to make me remember, probably so that I'll give them whatever information they need. I should probably be pissed over that.

But it's not like I have any attachments to... whatever.

Throwing the cover back I step up to the white board, where it stands "Past: Unknown" I scribble down "Enemy" instead. Then I write down "Kurosaki Ichigo" on the other side of the board, I get the feeling that he's more than just my killer.

Watching the clock again and then my schedule I decide for buying breakfast and then head over for my appointment.

.

There's running and screaming going on out in the halls, but I ignore it, staring at my shrink instead. He've told me his name many times, it's just that he looks too pathetic out so I've never bothered to really learn it.

And it's not like I really need it.

"O- Okay, since this isn't going as well as we would have hoped I was thinking that maybe we should try some techniques that I've heard of. If you would like?" It is going better that he knows, I can remember sand and blue skies. And the sound of swords clashing. Not that that's telling me much.

"What did you have in mind?" But hell if I would let that stop me from finding out more. If he got some secret technique, I want to try it, this shit really is getting frustrating.

"Oh, okay. It's sort of like hypnosis, but not. You will lay down and relax, and enter into a light sleep, then I'll wake you up so you wont go through that slow proses which makes you forget what you're dreaming. And then we will focus and repeat that memory when you wake up, so that it etaches and doesn't disappear again." Sounds like a piece of cake.

"Okay." I bring my feet up and lay them over the armrest as I lay down on the couch. I glance at him one last time as he shifts around the room, fixing whatever he need to fix.

"I-I'll wake you up in twenty minuets, which will be just before you're entering a deeper sleeping state."

"M-kay." I mumble, having closed my eyes already. I have no trouble falling asleep, don't think I've ever had, focusing on my breath, calming down. Trying to think of nothing.

.

Sun were streaming through the cracks of the wooden door some meters in front of me. There was a light tug on the cuffs that were locked around my left arm and I glance down at the scarred boy that stands beside me.

He notice my glare and stumbles over an apology.

"Just focus on defending yourself, I got your back." I say, trying to calm him down at least some. I can, we all can, hear the cheering of the crowd on the other side of the door.

"Thanks." the boy beside me mumbles, straightening his back a little, trying to be brave. It's not like I really care about this kid beside me, but if some simple words can calm him down a bit, I don't see why I shouldn't say them. It'll be so much easier to move around if he doesn't die.

I glance down at the sword I have in my right hand, if the kid dies it'll be hard to cut his arm off with this. The edge isn't sharp at all, and it'll be near impossible to get the leverage that would be needed when he's chained to me.

The guards that stand by the doors are shrugging a bit, and the pair in front of me visibly shakes out of fear or anticipation, I don't know.

I can hear chains from people behind me rattle, someone's crying, someone's laughing for himself. As I see the guards reach for the heavy handles I close my eyes, not opening them until I feel the light on me, not wanting to be blinded by it. That fraction of a second that it would take to adjust to the sun can mean the difference between having a head and not.

Being pushed from behind we all run out into the open arena, the crowds cheering rising into a deafening volume. The enemy's already out, waiting for us and I see as the people who stood in front of me falls to the ground.

In the corner of my eye I can see someone with some visor protecting his face rushing towards us. When he's barely three meters away I yank the chain, making the kid he was aiming for stumble backwards as I rush forward, thrusting the crappy excuse for a sword that I have through his stomach. It's almost soft, only muscles and fat until I can feel it scrap against his spine as if goes fully through his body.

I pull back, the body slumping and falling to the sandy ground. I spin around, just in time to block some other dude. He's so surprised by my move that he doesn't even try to evade as I pull back slightly before swinging again and successfully tearing up both his underarms. As he drops his sword and slumps in a scream I tell the kid to pic up the mans weapon.

The rest goes easy, as soon as the shock leaves the kid he's able to follow me quite nicely and then I don't have to think too much about defending myself, just attacking. I change my crappy sword for a nicer one as I cut down yet another man from the enemy team, then another one.

Not even five minuets have passed when I pull the piece of metal out of some guy's head and look around, just to notice that that was the last one. Nearly everybody are dead, only two other pairs from my team still standing.

The crowd is still cheering, but now also throwing flowers and petals down on us, on the dead and the surviving. The kid I'm chained to slumps to the ground, crying from relief.

I can hear my blood pumping in my ears and feel the adrenalin searing through my veins. I face the clear blue sky and close my eyes. Smiling I raise the sword I still have in my hand, listening as the crowd goes crazy.

I am _Grimmjow Jaggerjaques_.

I am _the king_.

.

I fly up as the door slams open. Throwing a quick glance at the clock before turning to glare at Ikkaku who've just entered my room without permission.

"The fuck dude!"

I don't know why he's here, we just bumped into each other once in a while, and then he somewhat made a habit out of showing up once or twice a week. I don't complain, it's not as I've got much to do, and he lets me bear a sword. And fight, as long as no one else's around, which I think is bloody awesome.

"Get up. Believe me, you want to attend today's meeting." He sighs deeply and runs his hands over his head as I get up, pulling on a pair of black hakama and tying them messily before reaching for the top.

"You're supposed to pull that on before you tie the sash."

"Yeah yeah, I know." Not bothering to do anything about it I head for the door, counting on that he will follow. "I thought you said that no one ever attends these meetings."

"You haven't heard?" he says while looking at me with a disbelieving face, which I just glare at. "Kurosaki died two days ago."

I can feel the shock showing on my face, but I can't do anything about it. This can't be happening. He's the one, he's my connection. How will I-

"Today's meeting we'll finally get to know the details. Man, I can't believe you haven't heard about this! Someone should have told you, didn't you say that you remembered Kurosaki?"

"Yeah..."

"Well, that sucks."

"Tell me about it."

.

I would reckon that the whole division is in the meeting hall as we enter. I follow Ikkaku as he push through to sit with Ayesegawa at one of the tables at the front.

Kenpachi enters through one of the side doors that are only meant for Captain's and Vice Captain's, and the whole hall falls silent as he slums at one of the chairs in front. This is unusual, on the only two other meetings that I've attended the division broke out in a roar as their captain entered.

"Hey ya'all." he says after a while, and then this wicked grin spreads out over his face. "I just came back from the meeting. Kurosaki Ichigo's presence was found some hours ago."

What the fuck? I can't believe what I'm hearing. But then again, there's something new almost every day. But I was so certain that if a Shinigami dies, he doesn't get reborn like that.

He wasn't a Shinigami?

The floor shakes with the turmoil that emerges from the whole division and I have a hard time not following with the flow. I don't know what the fuck happened, I'll ask Ikkaku about it later, but either way it seems like Kurosaki didn't really die after all.

.

For some fucking reason a week pass and I still haven't gotten the chance to see _the human_ again. Which is just unbelievable since he too apparently has been signed to the eleventh. And I'm a bit pissed over that he didn't tell me that he was in fact human.

I'm in my room as always, doodling down things on my board. The dream, or, the memory, I'm not sure what to call it, either way I found the environment weird. The rocks that the arena were built off, the sand that was the ground, the people and how they were dressed, it all had a different feel than things do here. Not to mention that the sun was much warmer, the sand was nearly burning.

I was at the library, after Ikkaku said that I used to live in Huco Mundo, the hollow realm. Looking through picture books and reading about some history about the place, but it wasn't what I had seen. So I had picked up a bunch of books about Hell and Earth too.

Now, after having gone through 5000 years of landscape changing of hell, I have pretty much ruled out that too.

It's all just fucking weird, I mean, me being dead on earth. As far as I've heard, you're _alive_ when you're there.

The pen stops on the white board and I find myself staring at a cloud outside my window. _Something isn't right here, there's something that I've missed..._

Then it suddenly hits me, all the pieces fall into place. I can't believe I didn't think of this before! If Kurosaki was human, that means that he could have killed me when I was human too. Which in it's own turn rises another question-

Is it really my previous dead period that I'm remembering?

Couldn't it be the period where I was actually alive?

I should probably stop being stubborn and tell Hanataro what I saw, he's been nagging at me lately. And yeah, I did finally learn my shrinks name.

.

* * *

TBC *dramatic drumming*

One last thing, I'm not using a beta for this, so if you see some grammatic errors and such, tell me - it's the easiest way for me to correct them and learn :)

I'll shut up now! So, please review?


	4. Chapter 4

.

Tired Of Being Dead

.

I don't want to think about it anymore!

Can't they just leave me alone, enough of this already! It's been a month already, and they haven't left me alone for one whole day yet.

"Renji." I half whine, pulling at the redheads arm to make him shift his attention towards me. "Make them stop! I don't wanna do this anymore, can't they just let me be dead already?" He grabs my hand, holding it as he sits down on a chair next to me.

"Ichi, you have to understand-"

"_I know._ But I don't remember all of that super hero shit that they've been nagging about." He sighs, dragging he free hand through his hair and I squeeze the one I'm holding a little bit tighter. "I only remember you."

"I know, I know. Let's get out of here for today, I'll try and talk to them again tomorrow."

I hate being dead, at least so far. I can remember stuff, there's no problem with that really. I remember pretty much my whole life. I just don't remember all the shinigami stuff, which is the only thing they're interested in.

Once we reach Renji's place I crash onto the couch and groan into a pillow.

"Don't get too comfortable, Shuu will be here in a minute with dinner."

"I know." Shuuhei always comes over, he doesn't have to remind me about it anymore. "I'll just... do some meditating or something."

"Yeah, try to figure out why it's just me who ya remember. Maybe it'll get you on the right track ya know."

"Mhm." I know why it's just you already. It's cause I love you. But I can't tell you that, especially not since I learned about your relationship with Shuuhei. It might have been so that I knew about that before too, I don't know. "Maybe cause you were my biggest... shinigami influence something." I mumble instead.

"Shouldn't that be Rukia? Since she's the reason for why you became one in the first place."

"Yeah but, wasn't it you who made me realize that there was more to it than just hunting hollows. And it was you who told me it was okay to save her." I don't really remember this, I've just been told about it so many times during this last month that it feels like I do. "And it was you who were with me when I achieved bankai." And it was you who I dreamed of every night.

You were the only one which I really let be a part of my ordinary living life.

"Hm. Have ya tried focusing on what you remember about me, and then-"

"Yes! _Yes_, I've done that already. Can't we just let it go now, I don't want to think about that anymore." Your hair, both down and up. Your mouth. Your smile. Your knuckles grazing against mine. Your hand on my shoulder. Your voice. Your eyes. Your laughter.

"Gees, someone's on her period."

"Shut up Renji." I sigh, being too tired to really rise to the fight. "Can't we just, stay here for some days and play video games or something. Not leave the house, order take outs and not shower for three days."

I can feel his stare at me but I don't look up to meet it.

"You know what, don't show up tomorrow. I'll cover for you, saying you're not feeling well or something. And you go out or stay in or whatever you wanna do."

"Thanks man."

"Whatever dude. Now, get up Shuuhei's just outside the door."

.

On my first free day I sleep until noon before I get up to make myself breakfast. There's a note on the table, Renji's handwriting, telling me to go out for breakfast/lunch/snack, and a small map showing that there's a market just a few blocks away.

Lucky!

I take the money and is out on the street just a couple of minuets later.

It's relatively calm outside, and I don't really bump into anyone that I've talked to since I came here, but everybody nods towards me and smile as soon as I pass them. It's a bit disturbing, cause I don't know if I've actually meet them before, or if they just recognize me cause of all the "crazy shit" that I did before I died. I try to shrug it off but after a while I get slightly annoyed and enter the library just so that I can avoid some of it.

The place is fucking huge I realize as soon as I look past the entrance hall. It must be as far to the other side of the main room as it is back to Renji's.

"Excuse me, sir?" a little voice to my left says and I turn to look down at the small girl who stands there. "Would you need any help?"

"No, I'm fine. But thank you." I answer as I start to slowly walk into the enormous hall.

Not really having anything that I want to look up I start strolling, reading the labels that are placed on each shelf as I pass them, waiting for something to catch my interest.

Poison, Gigai's A-O, Gigai's M-Z, Center 46, History: Seritei, History: Captains, History: Divisions, History: Humans..

I stop at Human History. Renji had said that they considered him as an human expert and just considering how much he knew, which was not much more than a peanut knows about wolfs, this could actually be quite fun.

Taking out a book labeled Human Modern History and another named Human Modern Art I move over to sit down at one of the large tables that are placed out in the passage that leads through the whole library.

"Kurosaki?" I hear a dark voice say and I look up at the man that is sitting on the other side of the large table. "Wha-" he starts but I raise a hand to stop him.

"I'm sorry, I don't remember you." I start, if he knew me he should have heard about that already but I know it's good to warn people the first thing I do. They always seem to think that they're a special case. "I lost all my memories of being a shinigami when I died."

"Fuck." he nearly growls, his brows knitting themselves together in a deep frown. "But you remember everything that has happened to you while you were alive?"

"Yeah." I nod, it's a bit weird of him to ask that. Or, at least no one has seemed interested in that before.

"Can I ask you something?" His intense blue eyes stare into mine as he leans forward a bit, and I feel a bit uneasy.

"Uh, sure."

"When you first came here, did you remember your life then too, or did it come back to you later? Like in dreams or something?" Why is this dude so interested in my life?

"It took around a day for them to return." My answer just makes him scowl even harder and my curiosity get's the better of me. "Why are you so interested? And just who are you?"

He looks a bit thrown off for a second before he gathers himself and this wicked grin spreads out over his face. "I'm Grimmjow Jaggerjaques."

"The sexta espada?" What the fuck is he doing here? Should I alert someone? Maybe they just share the name...

"So you do know me after all?"

"They've been nagging me about pretty much everything they know, I'm sick of it."

"Oh yeah? They wouldn't tell anything to me. I've pretty much been locked up here trying to get some information about myself."

"You lost your memory too?"

"Yeah."

"All of it?"

"Well..." he stares at me for a couple of seconds and I start to doubt if he's really gonna say anything more. "I remember you."

"What? Why?" I ask before I really can think about it, and as the words stumble out I can't help but panic slightly. This guy only remembers me, I only remember Renji, I'm in love with Renji... "You're in love with me?"

"Huh?" He looks totally thrown off. Which is a good sign... I think. "Wha-? No..."

"Then why?" I glare at him, suspicious. He glares back, slams his books together and stands up to leave.

"Cause you killed me."

I did what? But. No? No one told me about that. I defeated him, but I didn't kill him. Did they lie to me? Did they just make up my history?

Maybe they're just testing me.

I can feel panic as well as suspicion rising within me for a short while, before I realize that I have no more reason to believe this guy than I do to believe the rest of Soul Society.

Slipping out of my trance I look around me, but just as I thought, he's completely gone by now. Sighing I decide that I've had enough of an adventure here, so I grab the books that I still haven't even flipped through and take them with me as I go to find some kind of supermarket.

I want cupcakes. And hot chocolate.

.

Putting food on my plate I look across the table at Renji, wanting to see his reaction.

"I met Grimmjow today."

"Oh? He's doing fine?" Nothing special.

"He said that the only thing he could remember was me."

"Yeah, but you alrea-" he stops himself in mid sentence, mid word, as it dawns on him. "No, you don't remember that?"

"No, I don't."

"I thought it was a bit weird that you hadn't tried to meet him."

"Oh, you did, didn't you? What the fuck Renji! Why didn't you tell me about him? Didn't anybody think that it might be a good idea to get us to meet? And, I don't know, do some exercises together or trade idea's or something?"

"I'm sorry-"

"It's not only your fault Renji." Shuuhei interrupts. "None of us thought of it. But, now that we do know, talk to Ikkaku tomorrow, he knows Grimmjow's schedule and could probably fix something up."

"Okay."

"Thank you."

It's not really that I blame them for forgetting. I know that they have a lot of work to do too. It's just, they don't realize how fucking lonely it can be, to not know anyone, but everybody knows you. At least I get really damn paranoid, whenever I talk to somebody, cause I can never trust them fully.

It would be really nice to be around someone who at least can understand a little of what I'm going through.

-.

The next day when I wake up, Renji has left for work again, and I don't really do anything until Ikkaku enters, nearly scarring the shit out of me.

"Don't you guy's ever knock?"

"What's the point?"

"Like, to warn someone of your arrival, give them a chance to clean up or something?"

"Don't you feel stuff like that?" he looks at me with a blank face, and I glare at him, not really wanting to tell him that I suck at reiatsu control. "You should start training on control."

"Whatever, let's just go."

He leads me towards the eleventh barracks, through a lower rank building and up some stairs.

"Shouldn't a Espada be strong? Why is he living here?"

"He's lost all the power that Aizen gave him, not that that makes him weak but, you know, the higher ups ain't that nice and this is only temporary." he says as we stop in front of a door that's placed at the end of a long corridor.

Did he tell Grimmjow that I would visit? It's kinda rude to just show up like this...

I don't have the time to ask Ikkaku before the door in front of me is opened roughly. And I'm left staring into bright blue eyes.

"Kurosaki?"

"Yeah, hi." Oh, god! That was so _lame_!

"Just delivering him for you." Ikkaku cheers beside me. "I'm gonna go and meet Iba, so I'll probably come by tomorrow and drop of the papers that you need to fill in."

"Yeah, okay. Bye."

Ikkaku just waves, and I'm left standing in the hall, feeling very awkward.

"Wanna come in?"

"Yeah, sure."

I follow him into the small apartment, it's a small one roomer. Renji's place is so much bigger, it really amazes me, so this is how the lower ranks lives.

"Plant your ass on the bed, I'll get us some beers."

"It's not even lunch yet." He just raises a eyebrow towards me, as if not seeing the problem. "I'm a minor..." I sigh, looking away, until I hear him laugh loudly. "What?"

"So what? You're dead, and so are all your braincells, what's the big deal?" He toss a can at me, which I catch easily. "So, anything on your mind that you wanted to talk about?"

"Not really, just thought, since we're both suffering of amnesia we should hang out, and help each other or something."

"You wanna help me?" He looks slightly surprised. But then again, with his history I can't really believe that many has offered.

"Sure."

"Ah, okay." He nods, and then takes a sip of his beer, and I do the same. After a couple of seconds he lifts his gaze to look at me again. "You said you remembered your whole life right?"

"Yeah."

"Okay." As if making up his decision he walks up to the wall that has been covered by a big white sheet, and pulls at it, revealing a big whiteboard, full with scribblings.

My name stands in big letters on one side of the board.

.

* * *

Sorry for taking such time on updating, ya know, last year of school and all. It sucks, has too fucking much to do, feels like I'm barely hanging on. I need to update on MSPFY too, I know, I know.

That being said, I didn't really let this chapter "rest", as I usually do to find more errors. So if you see any errors or anything, don't hesitate to tell me! That goes for anything else too, please review?


	5. Chapter 5

Sorry for the super slow update - I actually havn't been able to do it cuz of being a mayor fuck up and not letting me D:

.

The First Meeting

.

"Grimmjow! Don't get me to come over there!" a fat man in his forties yell, and I pat the sand in front of me one last time before looking up at the sky and taking a deep breath and standing up. Walking over to my master I climb into the wagon that will take me to another town, another arena and another fight.

The chains feasted around my ankles rattle and I look at the few of us that are left as Mr. Priovani locks the door so that we wont try to escape. "I can't believe so many of you died." He sighs as he shakes his head. "I'll never buy men from that scumbag again, he said they were top warriors!"

I can't believe this man, he puts us to fight in nearly only our own skin, in life death battles, and don't expect people to die?

I scowl as he walks away, and it's not long until we finally start moving. There's a light kick to my leg and I look up to see Max grinning at me.

"What?"

"I heard that we're only gonna pic up one new guy today."

"Yeah, so?"

"So," he leans forward, and I can see his dirty toughs shining through his eyes. "the standard jails are six rooms. And we're only six people left." I can't help but smile at that. There's a bright side to having your so called comrades slayed. Private space.

_I'm gonna jerk off all night long._

"I call dibs on the new guy." Max laugh and I just sigh as Blondie who sits next to him hits him on the head, his chains rattling. "Ow!"

"You know that if the guy is hot, we will fight over him!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever."

There's a total silence as Mr. Priovani drags the new guy into the small backyard that belongs to the jail. It's nothing but a mere kid, he can't be more than 16 or 17 years old.

"We'll fight." Max mutters next to me, and by the look in his eyes I almost feel sorry for the kid.

"So, this is your new comrade." Mr. Priovani says. "Be nice to him." He gives us a glare, as if he knows what's running through our dirty heads. "Food will be here soon." And with that he leaves us alone again.

As soon as he exits the playground Blondie starts laughing as he pics out two swords from the training material that we have. Weighting them both in his hands before he drops one back.

"So, who's first?"

"I'll go!" Max raises his hand, a sword already in his hand.

"Uh, guy's?" The new guy says, and everybody stops in their movements. "What's going on?"

"They're gonna fight over who gets your ass tonight." I say, and the kid looks absolutely horrified and shocked. I get a bad feeling from this, since this is pretty much a normal thing to do.

"No, I-. I don't want to do that." he stares at me with big brown eyes, his extremely sun bleached hair swaying a bit.

"Unless you can beat them all you don't have much of a choice, it's how things are done around here." I lead him backwards and push him down on a bench as the others prepares themselves for the first round. "Where do you come from?"

"What? Why would you-?" How long has this kid been into the games, that's all I'm trying to figure out. Cause I'm getting seriously bad vibes.

"Who owned you before Mr. Priovani?"

"No one."

_Great_, just fucking _great_! Christ. He bought another totally worthless one. This kid has probably not even held a sword before.

"Have you ever fought in a life and death match before?"

"No." I stare at him for a few seconds, it's been a while since I talked to someone who is this innocent. Then I realize that we are about to rip that away from him in just a few hours. And I just can't stand for that, so I turn towards Blondie and Max who're in the middle of clashing swords.

"Guy's, we're not tapping this guy tonight! He's a total newbie!" They both turn to look at me, and then identical grins spread over their faces. Oh, just fucking great.

"Nice!"

And they're back to fighting, now putting more into it than before.

I sit down again, sighing and closing my eyes. It doesn't take long before the kid tugs at my arm and I turn my head to look at him.

"What do I do?"

"Well, you either relax and just let it happen." He doesn't look happy as I say that, and I can't help but smile a little. "Or you fight, and prove your strength."

His eyes turn hard, and as soon as Blondie makes Max drop his sword the kid stands up and pics it up, declaring that he will be the next challenge. I can't help but laugh as the kid try to swing the piece of metal around, having no foothold or technique at all.

Blondie just push his shoulder roughly and the kid falls to the ground.

But the kid's eye's don't loose their determination and he's up on his feet in just a few seconds. It all goes on for quite some time, Blondie just playing around, and some of the other guys grow tired of the bullying and goes off to fetch food.

"Stop it!" the kid snaps after being pushed for the tenth time.

"Okay." Blondie smirks before skillfully making him drop his sword, putting the dull blade just a centimeter from the kid's neck. "You're mine for the night."

"Oi! What about me? Don't I get to fight too?" I can't help but stick my nose into this, the kid probably doesn't deserve it more than any of us do, and I feel like being nice and at least prepare him for the world he just got pushed into. Hopefully he'll have a better chance at staying alive for a little longer then.

"Grimmjow? I didn't think you were interested."

"Well, I am. You know I like gingers." I pic up the sword that's laying a few meters away from the kid, sending him a light glare before rising to face Blondie. "Get out of the circle kid." I mutter before I take my stance.

Blondie smirks before attacking, and I swiftly evade before finding my moment to really block and fight back.

It doesn't take long before I have my poor excuse for a weapon pressing against Blondie's pulse, and is declared the winner. I ask the other guys if they want to play too, but they just shake their heads. We all know that I'm the strongest of us, that's why they always give me the weakest guy in pair games. Best chance for survival is to be paired with me.

I rise the sword over my head, and look up on the few clouds that covers the darkening sky.

A while later I sit buy a wooden table, the kid in front of me. He haven't met my eyes once since I was declared the winner.

"So, what are you doing here?" I try, taking a big spoon of the mess that we are served today. And he stops picking on his food and rises his gaze a little, to stare into my chest.

"Family emergency." he says softly.

"They sold you off?"

"No, I volunteered. It was either me or my sister." There's traces of love and honor in his voice, before it hardens.

"Do you have any idea of what you signed up for kid?"

"Stop calling me a kid. And yes, I just need to fight, win, and then Mr. Priovani will let me enter the end games, and I will be free again." Man, sometimes I feel like I'm the only sane person left in this world.

"Are you stupid? You think you can just go and win the end games? Have you even seen a match before?" Why did I help this guy, he's clearly suicidal.

"No, I haven't but that's the only choice that I have! I'm sorry, but I don't plan on giving up and do nothing about this!" Fire blazes in his eyes, and if it was determination I saw in his eyes before, I have no idea of what this is.

"Kid-"

"_Don't_ fucking call me that, I'm not a kid!" He snaps, standing up, his hands fisting at his sides. I rise too, sensing the fight that's laying in the air.

"You don't stand a chance against what's out there. You weren't even a match for Blondie, and I can assure you that if you wanna win the end games, you'll have to be at least five times stronger than that to even have a chance."

His fiery eyes just glares at me, and I can see that he's scared, but not changing his mind about his decision.

After a couple of minuets he sits down calmly again, breathing out a big sigh.

"Nothing you can say will make me chance my mind. I have to try."

A few hours later everybody has gone to sleep, but the kid is still sitting on a bench out on the back yard. Holding one of the damaged swords in his hands.

"Hey, you need to sleep." I say, and he nearly jumps at my voice before turning to look at me. Rising after a few seconds, and walking into our room without a word.

"So how do we do this?" he asks as I enter behind him, his whole body tense as he refuses to look at me. I look at him, fucking clueless until I figure out what he's talking about.

"We wont." I say, sighing as I drop down on one of the beds and pull a thin blanket over me. "Just go to bed and sleep."

I roll over so that I'm facing the wall, but listens as he shuffles around the room before finally going quiet. His breath is still almost ragged, so I know he's far from sleeping. And I know that I wont fall asleep before he does, call it paranoia, call it survival instincts, so I lay there waiting.

After what must be a whole hour, his breath is even more ragged than before and when I hear a hiccup I loose my patience and turn around so that I can see what's going on. He isn't even laying down, he sits in the corner of the bed, a blanket wrapped around his frame.

Even in this darkness I can see that he's lightly shaking and I really wanna sleep, but it's not gonna happen as long as he's like this. So I sit up, nearly scaring the shit out of him as his head flies up to face me.

"Come over here kid." I say. Several seconds pass, but he doesn't make any signs of moving. "I can't sleep before you do, so come over here." I say, my voice now a little harder and more demanding. He rises and comes over to me, stopping before the bed.

"Now get in." He doesn't move again, and I end up pulling him down. After a little struggling I have him laying quietly beside me, his head resting on my arm. "Now sleep, kids need sleep to grow you know."

"I'm not a kid." he mutters and I can feel a small smile spreading on my lips.

"Sure, whatever you say."

"I'm not, I'm 16 years old."

"That's pretty young." I say, glad that he seems to calm down a little now, even if his body is still tense. "Either way, your age doesn't matter. You'll be a kid until you realize how easy it is to die, and the meaning of taking a life."

I look at him for a couple of minutest when he doesn't answer, as if he's thinking over what I said.

"Try to sleep kid, I promise I won't attack you."

"Stop calling me a kid."

"Then, what's your name?"

He bites on his lower lip a little before he looks up at me, meeting my eyes for the first time since I won him.

"Ichigo. Kurosaki Ichigo."

* * *

Just giving the heads up, I'm seriously considering dropping this story. I don't know, it feels like I rushed into it a bit to quickly and I'm not sure I find the idea that epic... at least not in comparison to others that I have atm. And yeah, I know, I fucking hate it when authors drop stories too but... yeah. There will be a next chapter tho', it's already halfway done so I'll probably post it and then we'll see. It's a bit sad tho, since we havn't even gotten started really yet... yeah, we'll see- Please review?


	6. Chapter 6

Good Old Days

.

It's easy to talk to Kurosaki. It's easy to rile him up, and to make him laugh. I swear, he has mood turns like a pregnant woman. And if you wonder how I know about pregnant women, I don't, I've just heard others use that expression. Or at least I think I have.

I've told him most of what I can remember, and we've pretty much decided that the memories that are returning to me are from when I was alive, in ancient Greece, or Rome. Probably Rome.

His face when he realized that, I could have sworn that I saw sparkles in his eyes. He seems to be so fascinated by me, it such an alien feeling.

I haven't told him about my memories of him yet, I don't know why, I guess I'm just not ready for it. I've discovered that I have a hard time trusting people, I don't know if it's something that I've picked up while being dead now, or before, or if it's something from when I was alive.

I look at the kid, who's sitting next to me on the bed. His shoulders have grown relaxed, and he speaks slower than before. He's probably tired, I am too, but far from falling asleep. I haven't had this fun in a long time.

"I'm starving. Want something to eat?" I ask and he just laughs as he nods.

"That would be great. What time is it?"

I really have no idea, and I stumble out in the kitchen to look at the clock.

"Wow, it's almost ten in the morning."

The sun rose a couple of hours ago, but neither of us cared.

"Ah, time for breakfast then!" Kurosaki jumps up and push me to the side so he can check what's in my fridge. "Grim, you need to shop."

"How bout noodles?" I say, reaching over him to open the locker that I've stacked with noodles and sweet and sour sauce. As he stands up he's right next to me, and I can feel the heat rolling of his body.

For some reason it doesn't throw me off or alerts me, as it has done so many other times when I've gotten really close to somebody else. He feels really comfortable so close to me.

.

Our swords clashed against each other. And I pushed forward, making him stumble back.

"You have to have your feet wider apart." I say as I take a hold of his hand to drag him up again. "How many times have I told you that?"

"Shut up! I'm trying."

I sigh, and draw a big square in the sand. "Look here, maybe this will help. Imagine that you have to have this much space between your feet. Come over, stand here, place your feet on two opposite corners."

I watch as his body find a balance, and holding my thumbs on that this will work. Pushing him on the shoulder it makes him lean slightly backwards, but for once he doesn't fall. Trying from the side and from the back, I'm finally happy.

"Great! Feeling that you have a better balance now?"

"Yeah." he smiles, and I sign for him to raise his sword again.

"Now, hold that stance."

.

"How's the training going?" Max asks as he sits down next to me and the kid, a bowl of the gray goo that's today's food in his hand.

"Fine, we're making progress." I answer, Kurosaki just nodding. He seems like he doesn't like to talk much to anyone else than me, could be because of what happened the first day.

"Good, cause I heard that we'll be playing in three or four days."

"Fuck, that's too soon." I groan, knowing that the kid is far from ready to chop another human being down.

"Yeah, I figured. Some of the new guys are pissing themselves. All wanna be paired up with you, me or Blondie." Max laughs and Kurosaki eyes me warily.

"Don't worry kiddo, I'll pair up with you. I've put too much effort into you to just let you die in the first round." He scowls but his body relaxes, and I'm trying to not laugh at his obvious relief.

.

"Earth to Grimmjow! Anybody there?"

I snap out of my trance, only to find myself staring into Kurosaki's eyes, really close.

"You totally spaced out. Did you remember something?"

"...No." I say after a couple of seconds, thinking it over. He looks at me with disbelief written all over him. "Or, I did but, I don't think it was anything important, just training."

"Oh."

A second pass and he looks like he wants to ask something, but there's a knock on the door before it opens and Ikkaku enter.

"Hey guys! Ichigo, what are you still doing here?" He isn't surprised in the least.

"You knock for him but not for me?" I can't help but laugh as the kid flies away from me, to nag at Ike, who just laughs.

"Sorry, maybe it's just a habit to walk in and out of Renji's place." he says and then turns to look at me, handing up a bunch of papers. "I got everything, just read it and fill in all the spaces, it's quite easy. Any questions, just ask."

"Okay." I reach over, starting to flip them through lightly. Kurosaki's staring at me with a buzz on his face, but I try to ignore it. "When do these have to be in?"

"They start going through things next week, but last chance is by the end of the month. And then the term starts in about two months I think, I'm not so sure about the date, we never check in first years."

"What's this all about?" the kid finally voices his question, and I leave it to Ike to answer.

"He's gonna enter the Academy, ya know, to become a proper shinigami you need to have a degree and shit. Though, I think they would do some changes for you whenever you feel like you wanna move out of Renji's place." he laughs as that scowl enters Kurosaki's face.

"Hey, I'm not gonna freeload forever, I just haven't had the time to do anything yet." He throws a quick stare at me before he turns back to Ike. "Could you make copies of those papers? I wanna enter too." Ikkaku just smirks, releasing a light chuckle.

"Knew you would say that, you're as quick on decisions as ever Ichigo. I've already prepared them." And with that he pulls out another copy and gives it over. Kurosaki looks mildly dumbfounded and I once again have to swallow my laughter.

"How did you know I was-" he starts but then figures it out and his brows knit together in that way that they do. "Never mind."

.

Two months later me and Ichigo stands next to each other at the entrance cermony. He graces his knuckles against mine and I look down from our teacher or principal or whatever to meet his gaze.

It's just like when we were both about to step out on the field together for the first time. Except that there's no chains linking us this time, and we're out on a backyard and not in a dark dungeon. His eyes aren't scared, they're filled with excitement.

I'm standing perfectly still, staring into his brown eyes. That first time, a couple of thousand years ago, that time that only I can remember, when we stood like this, minuets away from a possible death, his whole body and been tense. He had stared up at me with those big brown eyes, and I had leaned down to kiss him.

He had melted against me, and when we parted I knew that he had understood that he would come out of this okay. That I would not let him die.

That time, just as this time, we were standing, just waiting for a new chapter of to begin.

"What?" he asks, and I pull myself off memory lane to realize that I'm still staring at him.

"Nothing, just remembered something."

"Oh, what?"

"You've grazed your knuckles against mine like that once before."

"I have?"

"Yeah, just before your first fight, some thousand years ago." His eyes went impossibly wide and shit, I haven't told him that he was with me back then. I forgot. Well, at least he can't cause a riot here. "Sorry that I havn't told you, didn't really know how to break the news to you."

"You mean I was with you? In-"

"Yeah, that's why I remember you. We fought side by side."

"But, what about me killing you?"

"I don't know, I seem to be getting my memories back in a somewhat chronological order."

"So, where are you now?" He still seem like he doesn't believe me. I don't like it.

"Just before your first match. We're chained together as a pair, standing in the dark dungeon, soon to enter. You were scared shitless, you had never fought for your life before and..." I drift of, don't knowing what to say. I look down at Kurosaki again, who's still staring at me. "You are just about to turn seventeen."

"What more?"

"The reason for why you're there with me, you volunteered to be sold. It was either you or your sister." He gives a small smile at that, probably happy that he wasn't some scum in his past life. Like he ever could have been. He turns back to look at our principal who's still talking away.

There's something about the sunlight. There's something about the way it felt to finally tell him that makes me do it. "One more thing," I grace my knuckles against his again, more purposely this time as I lean closer to him. He turns to face me again and I close those final inches, leaning down and kissing him.

* * *

Uhm, just asking, I'm lazy and I'd love for some of you to drop some ideas for classes that they need to take? In school I mean. As well as some free choises would be awesome :D Thanks! Please review?


	7. Chapter 7

The First Day

I don't know what to think about Grimmjow.

Everybody keeps telling me these bloody and cruel stories about him, but either of us remembers them, so I don't want to care about it. I'm trying to not care about it. But the terror that I see in peoples eyes is really hard to ignore. And there's something about the way he laughs, sometimes.

And I know it's not intentional, or maybe it is, but it's clear in almost everything, that he doesn't really trust people. I get this feeling that he's trusting me somewhat at least. He's starting to open up more and more each day, and as interesting it is to hear about this other life that he's remembering, it is to see how he grows as a person as experiences takes a place within him and creates him.

It feels like we're growing together side by side and that we'll be really good friends.

Then we stand there, the day of the entrance ceremony, side by side, and I know that the years to come will be awesome. And we'll kick everybody's asses in the combat classes. Cause outside of school we have the best of Soul Society in our friends group and all these noobs only have each other and we have all this past experience, and Grimmjow has it twice as much as me and it'll just be awesome.

His knuckles grace against mine and as I look up I see him staring at me and his cold blue eyes are warm and I just know that he remembered something more.

I was there with him. In rome. I find it quite hard to believe, but I can't see any reason for him to make something like that up. At the same time I can't ignore the thought of why he's telling me this now, when we're supposed to be listening to this speech. He still doesn't fully trust me. That I won't blow up in his face for not telling me sooner, or storming off calling him a liar or, I don't know what he expected so I turn my head back to watch the principal.

Then he brush his knuckles against mine once again as he leans in closer and I just have to turn back to face him. And he kiss me. His hand garbs mine gently as his lips close over mine. By auto I close my eyes and I'm just about to part my lips when he pulls away. When I open my eyes just a second later he's turned back to watch out over the crowd.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that." His voice is slightly strange, I don't know where to place it. "I guess I'm just... confused." His brows knit together into a frown and his hand falls from mine.

"It's okay. Uhm," What am I supposed to say here? Have I ever been in this kind of situation? Do I feel that way about Grimmjow? I know that if this was Renji then I would... I don't know what I would do then either. "_yeah_, it's okay."

No matter what happens I'm sure that it'll be okay.

By luck me and Grimmjow were placed in the same dorm room, they say it was luck but I really think that they did it cause they're all afraid of him and they havn't realized that I don't really remember all the combat skills that I supposedly have.

"This is kinda cool. Feels nice." Grimmjow says, falling back onto his bed. "Wanna go and get our stuff later?"

"Renji said that he would come and drop my things after work so I'm cool. You need help with yours?"

"Yeah, or at least the board." He frowns as he says it. "About the kiss-"

"Grimm, it's okay. You don't have to feel sorry about it." Now when I've had some time to think about it I've realized what made him do it. "When you remember stuff you remember the feelings too, and it's not the first time I see you act out on them. Personally, I think that the kiss was much nicer than when you floored me last week." He release a light chuckle to that. We had been at the library and I had pushed lightly on his shoulder when he didn't respond to me calling his name. Before I had known it I had my back on the stone floor, Grimmjow hovering over me, a feral smirk covering his face.

"I guess you're right." he says as he sits up on his bed, and turns to look across the room at me, who's sitting on the other bed.

"Besides," I smile but I can feel something tugging at my heart when the next few words stumble out of my mouth. "I know that the you back then ain't the same as the you right now."

Whatever feelings or relationships that we've had in our past lifes or deaths don't have anything to do with the ones we have right now.

.

"So, how's school?" Renji asks when I meet him in the afternoon.

"Fine, we've only had one class so far and it was boring as hell." Grimmjow's still in our room, packing up his stuff. He had a bit more than me, since he've actually had a home for the last few months while I just slept on Renji's couch. "This old man was nagging about how Soul Society was created by this king."

"Oh yeah, History pt. 1. At least it's more fun than pt. 2."

"Don't make me think about it."

"It was your choice to enroll, I kept telling you-"

"Yeah yeah, I know. But you know I couldn't just jump into a division right away." I don't have the slightest clue about what they do, or any kido skills. Hell, as of now, I don't even have the comat skills that I used to have. I look over at Renji as he fix his hair, straping the band even tighter around his red locks.

"You have to stop putting yourself down Ichi, I know-"

"No, you don't." I interupt him. I'm tired of this, all the time, day in and day out. "I'm not the same person as you remember. Everything that I did here, or in Hueco Mundo before I died, all the fights, all the training, all of that is gone. I don't remember any of it, it's like it never happened." I get the feeling that maybe I was a bit too harsh on him, he looks a bit hurt, a bit put out too.

"I'm sorry."

"I know it's hard to adjust to." It was hard for me to adjust to the feelings I had for him too, since I had nothing to base them on. But thanks to that I don't remember anything we've ever done together they're slowly disappearing. Hopefully they wont return, I don't wanna be in a one sided love thingy.

"Yeah." Reaching the lawn outside of the entrance gates we sit down. "Shuu will be here soon with some coffee and cupcakes."

"Sweet." All the other students that pass us by are staring. They're probably not used to seeing high ranked shinigamis, like Renji would even need his rank to be recognized.

"So, how's it going with Grimmjow?"

"Good, I guess." I don't really know what to say to that, and I'm pretty sure that Grimm wouldn't want me spilling everything he's been telling me. "We've been sparing every Wednesday and Friday and I'm really starting to get a hand of it. It's fun."

"Yeah, soon you'll start going with me again, right? I miss our sparring sessions."

"It's no fun when you just royally kick my ass without mercy."

He just laughs, loudly. "But come on, I have to now when i have the chance. Before we both know it you'll have all your powers back and then it won't be so easy."

"Whatever."

.

"Grimm! Wake up!" I pull the pillow from beneath his head only to slam it down on his face directly afterwards. "We're having our first combat class in an hour." He just rolls over onto his stomach, grumbling.

"An hours a long way to go. Shut up."

"So, you don't wanna do some warm ups with me first? And breakfast?"

Fifteen minuets later we're on the lawn that's between four of the dorm houses. A bag of bagels and juice dropped just beneath a tree.

"You ready?" he says as he cracks his whole body, jumping up and down a few times. I just grin, matching his stance as we close in on each other.

My hand gets blocked by a underarm, my knee by a palm. I jump back as he does a high kick aiming for my jaw but dive right back in. The kicks become fewer and fewer and our hand to hand faster and faster until I can feel myself missdjudging one of his moves, leaving me open. A palm press my head towards the sky and a foot is pressing on my chest the next half second, making me fall towards the ground.

"Ouch." I grunt, opening my eyes to see him sitting down on my chest, fisting his hand into my top.

"How manny times have I told you to fix your footing kid?" I'm next to shocked my the seriousness in his voice and the close to fear that's evident in his frustration.

"Uhm, never? Grimmjow?" Did he have another flash-back? They're affecting him harder now than they did a month ago...

"Oh, right." He looks up, his hand loosening it's grip. "Sorry." He's just about to get up but I grab his hand, holding him still.

"Do you need to talk? What did you remember?" His eyes are blinking slowly as he stare into mine, then they drift down, towards my shoulder, my chest.

"It was just a shallow wound. Nothing serious." he says as that regular frown settles in a bit deeper. "I just get pissed off when I see you making the same mistakes over and over and-"

"That's not fair, it's not like I remember doing them."

"But I keep telling you to always keep your balance and yet as soon as we enter the damn court you seem to forget all about it." he sounds frustrated and I'm sure that he's not completely back yet.

"Grimmjow!" That made him shut up alright. "You've never told me about my footing, we've never been fighting in some court, I've never gotten wounded. We're both fine and we're in school and we have class in ten minuets or so."

"Right." He stands up abruptly, then gives me his hand and pulls me up too. "Right. Let's go." He strolls towards the tree and our bagels. I know that I should say something but I don't know what, and I'm not sure that he would want me to bring anything up right now either. So I don't say anything and accepts the bagel and bottle of juice when he hands them over to me.

And then we walk to class.

.

* * *

Sry, I know this is total crap. I just don't don't have any affection to this story... or Bleach at all lately. Uhm. Yeah.


End file.
